


Life without Hope

by NeonWolves



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Scott is a Bad Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonWolves/pseuds/NeonWolves
Summary: Stiles never hopes for anything, end of story.





	

“If you let hope inside, it takes you over. It feeds on your insides and uses your bones to climb and grow. Eventually it becomes the thing that is your bones, that holds you together. Holds you up until you don’t know how to live without it anymore. To pull it out of you would kill you entirely.” – Ally Condie

Stiles hated the principle of hope, he hated it because he didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand how somebody could have hope, nor did he understand what it truly meant, or felt like. 

He supposed he could have felt hope at some point in his life, but that had been a long time ago and was now irrelevant. He supposed he could be considered a pessimist, though he didn’t think that fit him, not really. He didn’t expect anything, neither bad nor good. He just exists, never hoping, never once. 

There are many things he wished he could have hoped for; Scott, Lydia and Jackson had all been things that he could have hoped for, but he didn’t. He didn’t hope for Scott to be his best friend, why should he? Why is he special enough to get to have one? And Lydia, who was so beautiful. Why should he ever hope to had her, he who was so undesirable. And Jackson, whom Stiles had loved, who tormented him. Why should he ever possibly have hope about that?

He didn’t, and that had saved him a lot of grief, a lot of anger and tears. But it also withheld him from being happy, sure he appeared to be happy, but all he did was hide behind his grin and his signature brand of sarcasm. 

In hindsight, somebody should have noticed by now, somebody should have cared enough to notice. His dad hadn’t, but only because he worked all the time. But still, his friends; if Stiles could consider them that, they didn’t notice. Not one bit, and they could smell emotions, so they should have noticed… Had they? Had they noticed his faked emotions? But… they couldn’t have. They would have confronted Stiles if that were the case, Scott especially, who had no brain to mouth filter.

Yet Stiles wondered, so he observed. He observed them while he was near, and he noticed. He noticed all the small glances and concealed frowns, noticed concern and the thinly veiled pity. So, they had known, yet hadn’t said a word. He supposed that was fine, he wasn’t hiding it, not really. He just wanted somebody to notice, somebody to see past all his grins, pas all the sarcasm and attitude, past the…. the mask he always wore.

But he wouldn’t hope for it, not once. So, he did something that would make them notice, that would make them confront him and make them all care. Just once, that’s all he wanted, that’s all he cared about, but he didn’t hope. He never did.   
So, when the pack called him over to a pack meeting, he didn’t expect anything, he didn’t hope for anything, not once. Though there was something, something like a sliver of warmth that passed through his stomach, though that was probably just some disease…

He walked in to the renovated Hale house and saw them all sitting around the living room. “Hey guys! What’s up?” He asked, slipping into his happy mask. “Stiles stop, we know…” Lydia said making Stiles look at her, almost getting whiplash from how quickly he turned his head towards her. “What?” He asked with a shaky voice. “We know that the Nogitsune is still in you.”

Stiles stared at her bewildered “I’m…. I’m sorry what now? No, it’s not.” Stiles said making her sigh. “Yes, it is, the Stiles we know wouldn’t do that to himself, hell, you probably right now are the Nogitsune I’m speaking to.” She gave a long sigh. “Come on, you can’t fool us twice, we will just end up beating you again.” Scott said in an agitated voice. 

“You…You believe her?” Stiles said, his voice shaky making them grimace “Just give it up already. You aren’t Stiles.” Erica growled. “YES I AM! WHAT IN THE ACTUALL HELL MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT?!” Stiles shouted angrily making them growl at him even more. Scott tackled him to the ground, making him cut his he’d on the table he had been standing next to. “Stop lying you demon! Give us back Stiles!” Stiles looked up at him with tears in his eyes. “I am Stiles…” He whispered, teary eyed. 

“NO! SHUT UP! I WILL NOT LET A MONSTER LIKE YOU JUST ROAM THE STREETS!” Scott yelled, his eyes glowing red in anger. Stiles whimpered and looked away, tears clouding his vision. “YOU KILLED ALLISON!! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE!” Stiles started crying, his whimpering increasing. 

Suddenly the door to the house slammed open and Peter and Derek walked in. “What do you think you’re doing Scott?” Derek asked in a growl, pulling him away from Stiles, who backed away in fear, going as far away as he could until the wall was at his back. He couldn’t breathe, the room was spinning wildly. His vision darkened until he felt a pair of arms around him. 

“Don’t worry pup, you’ll be ok, I’ve got you.” Peter whispered, lulling him to make him relax. “It’s ok, I won’t let them hurt you. Breathe, here do it with me, in, out.” Stiles’ breathing calmed, and shortly after small snores had been heard from him “Poor thing tuckered himself out…” Peter said with a sigh. 

His gaze hardened as he stood and turned to the pack “Mind telling me what the hell you were doing. You almost scared him to death! He was having a fucking panic attack for god’s sake!” Peter scolded. “Well, he is still possessed by the Nogitsune, it’s not like its Stiles in there anyway” Lydia said snootily. Peter growled at her “See, that’s where you’re wrong… and here I thought you were the smart one, what a shame” Peter said making her frown “Of course it’s the Nogitsune, why else would Stiles act like that?” She said, confused. “For god’s sake he always acts like that, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.” They all looked away from him “Seriously? None of you?” He said disbelievingly.  
“Well how were we supposed to know?” Scott growled making Peter chuckle “You’re werewolves for goodness’ sake! His scent alone should have given it away! He always smells like sadness, like depression. You haven’t noticed that?!” Peter shouted making them all look away guiltily. How hadn’t they known? Stiles was their friend and yet they didn’t even notice him. And now they had even attacked him, which certainly didn’t bode well, especially with Derek and Peter now pissed off at them. 

“I should have said something, I always noticed that.” Derek grumbled, feeling partially guilty for what had happened. “It isn’t your fault, at least you noticed him, none of us did, that’s for sure…” Kira said, as much as she preached about friendship and all of that shit she felt extremely guilty, Stiles was one of the first people to accept her. 

“Well we all have a lot to make up for, but know this, if you step out of line one more time, I won’t hesitate to rip you all to sherds.” Peter said making Malia frown “Why do you even care about him so much?” She asked making him sigh. “He’s my mate”


End file.
